PARENTS IN TRAINING

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November 8, 2017

What about Kevin? Oh no that’s Vorny’s dad’s name. Or Cathy? Hmm, if she likes flying, they might call her Cathy Pacific. What about Rhonda? No, like The Beatles tune, people will keep asking her for help. Man, it’s tricky territory picking your kid’s name, and like my endurance ‘betwixt’ the sheets, it’s possibly a tad premature given we haven’t even conceived yet. But it sure is fun tossing around potential ba...

September 27, 2017

I’m happier than a clam at high tide.

Vorny was like a Mother Hen during egg collection and Fertility Associates managed to curate 7 freezeable embryos during the days that followed. My 2 sperms became 7 embryos. Alright, alright, alright!

Well 8 if you count ‘Slow Pete’.

When the embryos reach what’s called the ‘blastocyst stage’ after 5 days, they are officially declared normal functioning beings and can be...

September 17, 2017

I was a little nervous when I arrived at Fertility Associates for Vorny’s egg collection and my semen collection. Probably because I’ve heard egg collection can be uncomfortable for the female and partly because I knew the semen collection would be another weird love triangle between me, a tiny receptacle and another Woman’s Day magazine.

All in solitary confinement with a lone chair and no wall art.

It started ba...

September 6, 2017

I noticed recently when Vorny was injecting hormones into the small spring roll of fat on her belly, that my role in this IVF journey is a supporting one. Typically as an actor you crave the lead roles, but Vorny’s the one with the vagina and the ovaries. I’ve just got a sad looking penis and 2 slow sperms who think optimism is an ointment for sore eyes. Sure they might be dumber than a box of hair, but you love...

September 3, 2017

This is an important health and safety announcement.

As soon as I realized my sperm count was low in 2007, I should have heeded the warning signs and protected my sperms at all costs. I should have played God, instead I played up. You have to stay healthy if you're considering IVF.

The first time I saw the team at Fertility Associates they re-iterated that alcohol has a negative effect on your sperm count. Whoops!...

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