One of the best pieces of advice I was given before starting this whole process was ‘treat IVF like a job’. Isn’t that cool? If it’s a job, you can always get through it. I’ve had loads of jobs I've loved before, but there's always a teeny aspect of each one that I don't love.
For example, I loved working in a movie theatre, but I hated cleaning ice cream off the seats. I loved working at a bakery, but I hated the fact I couldn't stop eating the muffins (and literally got a muffin top). I also love it when I get an acting job, but unfortunately I don’t love sex scenes. There’s been numerous times I've laid awake at night, reliving every awkward “sexy” moment from that day. I also panic when I’m asked to do a speech in public (I almost soil myself every time that one comes up). Terrifying!
Anyway, that piece of advice was the best little gem I’ve received thus far, so I’ve passed it on to all other new IVF’ers. It’s just a job and jobs end! After your egg collection, when you feel like your super sized ovaries are going to explode, they WILL shrink back down, trust me. And, when you’re jabbing yourself in the stomach in the exact same bruised spot from a previous jab, just remember, nothing lasts forever. Nothing EVER stays the same, thank goodness.
Changey, change, change.
Because of my over-active response to the IVF hormone drugs, Mills and I have found ourselves on an IVF hiatus. I’m currently having a glass of wine in a very American bar/restaurant in Burbank, Los Angeles, and he is sitting opposite me tap, tap, tapping away on his keyboard with that manic expression he gets when he's summoning up some deranged character he’s been daydreaming about. Hehe. Love you Millsy.
We’ll head back to Auckland in a month or so to do the last bit of the IVF procedure - inserting an embryo for implantation. It’s all so sciencey. I was flabbergasted to find out that your embryos can be tested for all sorts of genetic disorders and you can also find out the baby's gender. Isn’t that cool? We didn’t get that done, ha ha, but it is pretty cool. I guess we'll find out one way or another if our embryos are ok or not and what sex they are if it all works out. We have decided to try and do a natural cycle, which means I won’t be receiving any extra drugs to assist with the implantation miracle. It will just be perfectly timed with my natural cycle (fingers crossed). If the little embryo critter doesn’t stick this time around, thank goodness we can have a few more attempts at it. But what if it does stick 'first pop' and there are 7 other little frozen potentials awaiting their fate? Hmmmm. Mum said it feels like she has 8 little grandchildren waiting to be born. I mean, when exactly does everything kick in? When is there a soul? Will we give those other ones away? Can you even do that?
So many questions…
I guess that’s what an IVF hiatus is - you sit around and relax (or not) with your thoughts, think about all the stuff that’s in and out of your control and talk yourself into a reality where everything’s gonna be saweeeeeeet.