We're having a baby

I really wanted that latte but according to ‘Clint Eastwood’ - Vorny’s 83 year old doctor - her blood pressure was unusually high. He advised us to skip the coffee and go straight to Hoag Memorial Hospital, “They’ll probably send you home, but lets (puff) see what they (puff) say….”

Alright. Thanks Clint.

After a perfect parallel park (probably my best ever), we took the HOAG elevator to level 5 where we were promptly escorted into an observation room. The giggly nurse was very nice and after complimenting me on my awful t-shirt, she took Vorny’s blood pressure. The reading was 176 over ‘something something’. I looked at the nurse optimistically, “That’s good right?!” The nurse's giggly cheeks turned serious, “Yeah, um, you and your wife won’t be going home today Merlin.” I corrected her, “Oh it’s Millen.” Her giggly eyes turned serious, “We’ll be inducing Shobahan…” I corrected her, “Oh it’s pronounced Shi-vorn.” The nurse cut me off like a celery stalk, “You’ll be having your baby here today Melon.” My giggly eyes turned serious, “TODAY?!” I started freaking out, “But the overnight bag we packed months ago is still at home! That had a change of clothes in it for Shobahan and I...plus an outfit for the kid....And a bottle of bubbles!” The nurse smiled, “Perhaps you’d like to go home and get it Melon.” Oh the nurse was making too much sense it was bordering on rude!

As I drove home in a daze to get the overnight bag, I remembered that Vorny and I had rehearsed the driving route from home to HOAG about a hundred times - the average time to get there was approximately 13 minutes. Now with the sudden arrival of Operation Blood Pressure, those rehearsals were all for nothing!! And what about the breathing exercises we rehearsed at that BABY BASICS class where you look like a bloody Wally hyperventilating on cue. If Vorny was gonna be induced, would that mean we can’t play the ‘contractions breathing game’ all the way to the hospital?! I think so!! Aaaaah!!! All the plans we'd previously planned were changing.

I gave myself a stern talking to in the car, “Come on Merlin! You’ve got this! Just breathe mate. Breathe.” I did 2 short breaths, followed by a long one - just like BABY BASICS. Although I wasn’t pregnant, I was pregnant with emotion and I instantly felt calmer.

There was just no one there to hold my hand.



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